You know how it feels… You’ve had a long day.  You collapse into bed, turn out the light and start drifting, drifting, d.r.i.f. <BAM> the cat flies off the bed in full attack mode towards the bathroom.  You listen for whatever violent invasion caused such a reaction, and you hear it.  The rustling sound of a water bug (a.k.a. cockroach) crawling past the shower curtain.  Argh!

So, the light goes on, I grab my weapon of choice (a nice dress shoe with a big clunky heal for optimal radius of contact) and head to the bathroom.  As I turn on the light, I see it – the size was grotesque and its wings were all spread out to make it look even worse.  I instantly went for the kill, and missed.  It ran up the wall and behind a cupboard.  So, in my sleepy haze, I decided the smart thing to do would be to bang my shoe against the cupboard – hopefully scaring it back out into the open.  I think it knew my plan.  In a huff, I went for the can of Raid (with the straw for tight spaces).  I stuck the straw between the wall and cupboard and commenced spraying.  It didn’t take but a second or two and out he came.  He scurried out and fell to the floor on his back and started doing the dying cockroach dance.  I continued to spray him until he quit moving, and then gave him a burial at sea.  I reasoned that he most likely came out of the overflow drain in the tub.  So I stuck the straw up that crack and emptied about half a can of Raid into the space.  That should do it.  I left the light on, hoping that would deter any future cockroach appearances…assuming they survived the fumigation.  I closed the door, thanked my cat (Oliver) for the alert, and went back to bed.

Evidently, spraying an immense amount of poison into a small space doesn’t kill these things instantly.  Instead, the ones that managed to escape head for safer ground.  There began the mass exodus of cockroaches.  Oliver alerted to the first one just as I was getting close to la-la land.  I didn’t make it to the bathroom fast enough, and this one escaped into the bedroom.  So I grab the Cockroach Killer – Size 8 and start moving furniture.  This one must have already taken in a pretty good dose of poison, because he wasn’t moving too fast.  While it was a fairly quick kill, it was still gross and elicited a requisite girl scream as I crushed him.  While I’m sure I sounded like a total pansy, I will admit the squealing did help to mask the sound of the kill.

So, as I’m moving everything back into place, trusty Oliver starts batting at the bathroom door.  Out runs another one.  Just as I was moving towards the shoe, he scurries under the night stand.  I moved it away from the wall hoping to flatten him on the other side, and he wasn’t there.  I looked under the night stand…not there either.  Then I heard the scurrying sound…. that sneaky little bug was in the bottom drawer!  I opened it up, and of course he ran to another drawer.  I’m just going to leave the routine than ensued to your imagination.  Let’s just say that Looney Tunes would have paid well for the material.  Finally, a third burial at sea.

As I was watching the latest kill (a.k.a. road runner) spin his way down the commode, I noticed yet another one doing the dying cockroach inside the tub.  Poor guy never even made it away from the fumes that now hung in the bathroom.  I threw him into the pot with the road runner and slammed the lid down for good measure.

Closing the bathroom door, I told Oliver that I just couldn’t handle anymore invasions tonight and that it was his job to make sure they stayed in the bathroom until morning.  He then took up his watch position and didn’t move until morning.  Good kitty!!!

Needless to say, I will be caulking up the overflow drain until I can get a plumber out to address the obvious water/ leak problem I have in the master bath.  Oh joy!